He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
