I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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