youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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