I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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