She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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