you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
