The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Walk of Shame today included voting.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
