end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize