i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
