I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
