your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
