I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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