Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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