i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
