Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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