Screwed.edu
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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