I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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