dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize