lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
