i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize