i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
