Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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