ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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