it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
