I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Pappa wants mamma naked
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
