his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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