i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
