Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i love accidental penises.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
