Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
