Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
