I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
