watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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