He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
