On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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