so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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