just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
