His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
