I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize