I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
