Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
