I didn't shave. On purpose
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
