omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
