I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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