didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I am puke
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
