Someone shit on the floor
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
