He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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