omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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