I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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