At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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