Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
The beers last night were like the tears from god
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
