Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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