so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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