So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
