Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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