remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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