The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It's rum buckets o'clock
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
