i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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