I swear she didn't look like that last week.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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