Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
