I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
