It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
