Sponge bath it is.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Buhtt sex?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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