Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
