There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
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