We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Randomize
