ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
