We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize