I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
