is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Actions speak louder than pants.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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