is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
