super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
