We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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